This is more like a recap than a review cause I want you to decide for yourself if you like it or not. But for me it's definitely worth its money. And I will buy the DVD. Cause nothing is better than seeing the Transformers in HD. *smirks* And I want the score! Why is there no score CD yet?!
There are 49 snippets from the movie - I mostly transcripted the movie and added a few of my fangirl!comments *grins*
N O : S A C R I F I C E - N O : V I C T O R Y
|Transformers are alien robots. They come from the planet Cybertron and are divided into the heroic Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, and the evil Decepticons, led by Megatron. They are able to "transform", rearranging their bodies into a common and innocuous form, such as a car, aircraft, or animal (Wikipedia)
|We open to teh voice. I mean, honestly people, Optimus' voice plus the most awesome music since PotC, is like chocolate cake. Or cookies ^^
Optimus Prime tells us about the All Spark, how it had the power to create life, and how the Autobots were searching for it. Unfortunately, they were a tad to late. (Otherwise there would be no movie and I would not be here and you would not be here and...)
The first time I saw the All Spark I thought "WTH? Small?" but then the asteroids collide with it and I paddled back with my assumption. All Spark rocks. *nods*
The All Spark hit a planet which is called Earth. Boo! And so the story starts...
|Cut to Present Time and Qatar, Middle East, where Cpt William Lennox and his team who are returning to the military base located in Qatar.
Note the heroic music when they land - I'm such a sucker for great movie scores. *sigh*
Many shots of pretty soldiers, except the one of the ox who steals showertime. *icks*
|A MH53 Pave-Low helicopter is flying over the desert towards the military base. Looking all sorts of evil and decepticon-ish.
The base tries to contact it but it's not responding and they find out that it was shot down a few weeks back. And now it's flying all funky around? Uh-oh. Not good.
I really like the shots of the helicopter. Especially the one in front of the sun. Definitely evil-ish.
Oh and I know the actor playing the Colonel - just don't know from where... *ponders*
|In the meantime, Lennox talks via webcam to his wife and baby-daughter. So cute and funny :D
Outside, the helicopter is approaching for a landing and the base knows that here's something wrong. Dead wrong. Too bad they realize it too late. Da-dum.
And then the helicopter transforms into Blackout. So freaking awesome! It totally blowed me away.
It attacks the base, blows it literally up and at the same time tries to hack into the database to discover the location of Megatron and the All Spark but the base commander cuts the data cable with an ax, stopping the connection.
During the attack, Scorponok detaches itself from Blackout.
In the end, it seems as if there are no survivors... *bites nails*
|And now, let's meet Sam Witwicky, who needs 2000 dollars and three As so his dad will fund his purchase of a car. Woopie!
That's why he does a class presentation on his great-grandfather, who was a famous Arctic explorer. He went mad and died in a nuthouse.
Now Sam's trying to sell all of his antique explorer gear on eBay, especially the glasses. His teacher is not amused and gives him a B minus.
But Sam tries to convince him otherwise: "Now, ask yourself, what would Jesus do?"
*lolz* I would try everything too to get a car =D
|Now that he got what he needs, Sam and his Dad drive off to buy a car. After a prank visit to a Porsche dealership, Sam's dad takes him to a rundown used car lot to buy the real car.
They are followed by an old yellow camaro, that takes an empty space in the lot.
It's the first car Sam tries and it definitely feels "good". Unfortunately, 5000 is too much for Sam's dad. Say bye-bye to cool car!
BUT the car has some tricks up its, ehm, doors... poor neighbour car.
And, as that doesn't really help, it uses its radio to blast out every single window of every single car. Like so awesome! Definitely love from my side!
Sam, meet your new car :D
In Washington, the Secretary of Defense John Keller, recruited people to analyze the decepticon signal recovered from the Qatar base. Maggie Madsen is one of them. A young signal processing genius.
Sam prepares himself to impress the ladies with his relatively cool car. Woohoo!
In the desert, a few soldiers survived the attack and try to get to the nearest oasis/village/city of sand. Unknowingly they are being followed by Scorponox...
|Sam and his friend drive to a lake where all the "cool people hang out". Actually, Sam just wants to go cause his love interest Mikaela Banes is there, who's currently with a stupid jock.
What a surprise...
That jock pisses her off and Sam offers her a ride home... his car definitely helped him with that idea. *nods*
|While driving, Sam behaves like the most nervous dork ever. But his car conveniently plays the most appropriate songs and conveniently "stalls" next to a romantic overlook.
There we learn that Mikaela is car whiz trained by her mechanic dad. She decides to walk but somehow Sam's car starts again and he finally drops her off at her home.
The songs are teh love. I wish ym car would do that. *sigh* Love the song while Mikaela walks away... :D
|In the Pentagon, Maggie and her team are working on the signal. Nothing so far.
The tiny decepticon Frenzy has somehow snuck on board Airforce One and tries to hack into the defense network again. It also plants a virus in the network.
Maggie is the first to detect the signal and they cut the connection. Frenzy is so not amused. Love the how it headdesks. *lol*
Agents try to kill it but Frenzy kills them with its flying disks. It sneaks off Airforce One and hops into the waiting Barricade, disguised as a police cruiser.
|In the middle of the night, Sam's car starts it engines and drives off. Sam freaks out, follows it, calls the cops on the way and finds it at a junkyard.
There he sees the transformed Bumblebee in robot form shining a signal light into space. Like the Bat signal =D
He freaks out again and tries to run but gets arrested by the cops, who think he's the car thief. He's released after being grilled by a really jerky detective.
|At the Pentagon, Maggie forms a theory about the attackers being "DNA-based" computers, but no one listens.
In the desert (guess what, it's still Qatar!), Lennox and team finally found a phone. But Scorponox attacks them and the village they're escaping to.
Lennox contacts the pentagon and they are able to call in an airstrike. Scorponox goes down in flames... (though I'm not sure he's dead?)
I love the exchange between Lennox and the phone operator. *snort* I happen to know how it's like... XD
|In DC, Maggie sneaks out a copy of the decepticon signals and takes them to master hacker Glen Whitmann, who recovers the phrases "Project Iceman" and "Sector 7" from the files before both are arrest by the Feds.
At Sam's, his car drives off again by itself. Or rather, it stalks Sam as he tries to escape.
"Uhm yeah, Satan's Carmaro? It's stalking me!"
On his not-so-glory escape he meets Mikaela, who decides to follow him.
Barricade shows up, corners Sam and knocks him around, asking about his eBay auction, especially the glasses.
Evil and creepy like woah. *meep* And what's with all this eBay bashing? *phew*
|Bumblebee rescues Sam and Mikaela, and Barricade chases them. After the most awesome car chase (that is really, really long...), Bumblebee and Barricade engage in a robotic-death-match while Frenzy chases after Sam and Mikaela.
Mikaela decapitates Frenzy and Bumblebee kicks Barricade's robotic!ass. *woohoo*
Anyone else getting the feeling that Frenzy is like the most hyper transformer ever? Totally high. And bitchy. *grins*
|Bumblebee (now in fully transformer mode) communicates with Sam and Mikaela using various audio clips from songs and movies, and convinces them to drive off with him.
Frenzy's head is able to transform into Mikaela's phone and sneak off in her purse, which Mikaela takes with her. *headdesk*
During the drive, Mikaela complains about Bumblebee's crappy looks, and Bumblebee scans and transforms into a brand new camaro.
ZOMG, "Battle Without Honor Or Humanity"!!! *flails* Half of the cinema went crazy =D
|Four flaming pods crash into the earth at various spots, and the Autobots emerge. Funny, each one of them is near a GMC vehicle for them to scan... *lol*
Finally, the Autobots meet Sam (and Mikaela). Optimus explains the whole situation and why they need the glasses of Sam's great-grandfather: They have the coordinates of the All Spark etched into them.
There ar so many awesome quotes...
"Excuse me, are you the tooth fairy?" No, kid, Ironhide is definitely not the tooth fairy - he's the iron dwarf. And I totally luff him ^^
"We learned Earth's language through the World Wide Web." Whoops. I think, I'm going to keep my sisters from the WWW...
"Wait, how do you know about the glasses?" - "eBay." Awww, crap. Now eBay gets a real bashing. Bugger.
"The pheromone levels in the male indicate he wants to mate with the female." *rotflmao* Nothing more to say XD
|Somewhere in the air, Lennox are on their way back to the US. They examine the scorponox's remains, finding out that it was vulnerable to high heat rounds. Maggie and Glen are being interrogated.
They drive home, where Sam's dad is waiting for them and Sam tries to prevent him from coming out and seeing the Autobots. Who did not wait five minutes... *facepalm*
The exchange between Sam and his dad is so freaking funny! And the Autobots in the background, too. XD
"It seems you have a rodent infestation. Shall I terminate?" - "No! No! This is a chihuahua. We love chihuahuas." *snicker* *snort*
|Sam and Mikaela desperately search for the glasses while trying to hide the Autobots from Sam's parents. Which is so not easy...
"This isn't hiding! That's my backyard, not a truckstop!" No kidding. Though I would love to have four hightech cars like that sitting in my backyard...
"Oops?" Optimus, I love you. =D
Then the Autobots try to hide again and Ratchet gets zapped. *giggles* And the street gets its blackout... Whoops?
These scenes are the funniest of the whole movie. Definitely.
Sam finds the glasses but "Men in Black" from the mysterious Sector 7 show up and arrest everybody.
|On the way to whatever secret base, Simmons bitches around but Optimus and team rescue Sam and Mikaela.
Unfortunately, Sector 7 has been aware of the existence of the Autobots and are equipped to capture them: They get Bumblebee... *ohnoes*
The other Autobots stay back and Optimus finds the glasses that were dropped during the escape by Sam.
Woah, I hate Simmons! Okay, later he's not that bad anymore but here? I could kick his behind! *yuck*
|In DC, a creepy Sector 7 agent visits Keller, just as worldwide communications is shut down by the decepticon virus planted by Frenzy.
Sgts Lennox and Epps are dragged off by Sector 7 as soon as they land back in the US. Secretary Keller recruits Maggieas as his new advisor (with Glen being Maggie's advisor *lol*) and everybody winds up on the same chopper as Sam and Mikaela.
"I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot. - Who knew." No? Really? *grins*
They are all heading to the same place: Hover Dam.
Optimus and ther other Autobots use the glasses to get the coordinates and move out to rescue the world...
I can only say it again: The score, I want the score! Right now! *sigh*
|At the dam, our heroes find out that the whole dam is a cover for a Sector 7 base deep underground.
And guess what? They have Megatron! It seems that every technological invention since the 1800's has been reverse engineered from Megatron, who is still frozen in ice and held down here.
(Does that mean, my laptop is a freaky Decepticon Wannabe? *meep*)
Sector 7 also has the All Spark stashed in the same facility. They use the dam to mask the energy signatures from the All Spark while they continue to study it.
|Frenzy sneaks out of Mikaela's purse, touches the All Spark, gets pimped up and sends a signal to the other Decepticons.
We finally see all of them, heading towards the dam... despite them being the evil ones, I have to admit, they look really cool.
The Autobots are still on their way, as Starscream arrives at the dam and takes out the power to the base. Frenzy hacks the main computer which starts thawing Megatron.
|Sam and Lennox manage to 'convince' Simmons to free Bumblebee, who does his magic and lets the All Spark collapse into an easy to carry cube.
They plan to get the All Spark as far away from Megatron as possible before he gets free.
Megatron 'wakes' finally up and starts destroying the base... Woah, so ebil!
|Megatron meets up with Starscream and is not amused that the cube is not there... *phew*
Keller, Maggie, and Glen are trying to get communications up so they can have air support.
Lennox and Epps are escorting Bumblebee, Sam and Mikaela to the nearest city and along the way, they run into the Autobots, who join the soldiers in the protection of the convoy.
The most awesome turn of the Optimus-Truck EVER! And then the whole convoy thing... *flails* even the President never had such a convoy. Nope.
|Sam's convoy is attacked by Bonecrusher, and Optimus kicks his decepticon-ass like woah.
The sword is love. Honestly.
And during the scene where the two land infront of the car with the mom and her kid, you can see that Bonecrusher's eye squashes out as Optimus chokes him. *bounce*
Back at the dam, Frenzy attacks the Maggie and the rest of the group.
But uhm, it decapitates itself with one of it's flying disks. *snicker* You just have to love Frenzy :D
Glen managed to get through and the air support is on its way...
|The group make sit to the city and sets up defenses... but Starscream attacks.
The Autobots try to deflect some of the damage but it still hits them all hard.
Bumblebee loses his legs... *flails* Sam is completely devastated and shocked.
In the chaos that follows, the rest of the Decepticons attack, forcing everyone to fall back. The Autobots and Lennox' team fight back with everything they've got...
And people in between... one really great scene is the one where one Transformer (I think it's Ironhide) flys over the woman sitting in the middle of the street. Just wow!
|Mikaela hotwires a truck to help Bumblebee 'move' again. *squishes*
Megatron lands in the city and Jazz attacks him but get ripped apart. *sob*
Lennox tells Sam to get the All Spark to the top of a building, where he'll be rescued by choppers.
Wonderful scenes. I love every single one, even though Jeez dies. *sniff*
|Lennox and Epps hold off Devastator, while Ratchet and Ironhide try to protect Sam from the rest while Mikaela drives off with Bumblebee in tow.
Optimus finally arrives... and engages Megatron in the fight of the giants.
And yes, people die. It would be not authentic if there was no collateral damage at all.
|As Sam races to the top of the building, he's chased by Megatron - Ratchet and Ironhide are hurt pretty badly by Starscream...
During the chase, the cube shoots off a few energy beams and transforms a car, a phone booth and a box of something. All three transformers attack people right away. *meep*
Anyone else thinking that the sounds of the phone booth weapons are... really weird? It's so blopping. *giggle*
|Sam reaches the buliding with Megtaron hot on his heels.
Meanwhile Mikaela drives the injured Bumblebee to rescue Lennox and Epps and together they kill Devastator.
I love the "I drive - You shoot" scene. Girl and Transformer Power XD *woohoo*
|Sam reaches the top of the building and the helicopter comes to pick up the cube but is shot down by Starscream.
King-Kong anyone? *lol*
Megatron gives Sam the choice: All Spark or death. Sam decides to not hand over the cube. *wibbles*
Optimus saves him as Megatron throws him off the building.
All three hit the ground and Optimus tells Sam that if he can't beat Megatron, Sam must push the All Spark into Optimus' chest. That will overload and kill Optimus and destroy the All Spark. Nooooo!
Megatron and Optimus face off for the big fight.
Gah, Megatron is such a bitch! It wasn't enough that he killed his planet, no, he wants ours too. Sucker! *phew*
|Lennox and Epps arrive at the scene and see Blackout, who prepares to attack Optimus. But they shoot him to pieces.
Love the bike scene :D For the first sequel, I want a transformer disguised as a bike. *nods*
|They coordinate the arriving air support and even though the F-22 fighters are attacked by Starscream, they manage to critically wound Megatron, who was gaining the upper hand on Optimus.
Megatron falls and corners Sam. Optimus asks Sam to put the All Spark into his chest but instead Sam shoves it into Megatron's, overloading and killing him.
Optimus, the surviving Autobots and humans gather and mourn the loss of Jazz. *sniff*
Bumblebee asks to stay with Sam. *wheee* ZOMG, he can talk! And such a nice voice he go :D
|In the end, the remains of the Decepticons are are dropped into the Laurentian Abyss and Sector 7 is no longer.
Lennox returns home (or more is returned home by Ironhide *grins*) to his wife and child.
Sam and Mikaela make out on top of Bumblebee's hood while the other Autobots watch over them. *luffs*
Optimus ends out a signal into space to all the other Autobots, that have survived... *prays* Let there be more cause sequels!
[During the credit, there's a shot of Starscream flying into space... *flails*]
I hope you enjoyed the ride, ehm transformation :D
P.S. The uploaded snippets are zipped. In each zip are ten .wmv-files, except in the last.
TS Snippets Part I (68.52 MB) | TS Snippets Part II (91.48 MB) | TS Snippets Part III (72.05 MB) | TS Snippets Part IV (63.06 MB) | TS Snippets Part V (59.2 MB)