I know that some of you don't like this episode. I had some freak-out moments in the beginning but then I really started to love it. It is a funny, totally hilarious story and you should see it as one. Sure, Richard Kind cane be a little creepy and slimy but somehow it works for the story *grins*
So if you want a no-bitching-about-the-episode recap, proceed ;) (Although there is a fair amount of freaking-out cause at that momnt, we were freaked out)
A/N 1: Beware, I overdid it with caps. I have soemthing like +200 and the recap is so not dial-up friendly. Sorry.
A/N 2: You may use the caps for graphics! Just credit me and we have a deal. There are some really hilarious ones...
- Yes, in the beginning we're freaking out but what else can you expect if suddenly that guy pops up out of nowhere?
- Sparky and Spanky have their moments as does McShep and Sheckett (and other ships) I included some. And then some more *smirk*
- We get new teams! Team Sheppard (as standard), Team Weir, Team Beckett and Team McKay. Gotta love them ♥
- Lots of headdesking, giggling and Ô_o. As well as touchy, smitten and hitting on and being hit on. And mixes of them.
Pheromon guy meets SGA and makes them his slaves. Sexes with everyone and John (and the cold) has to save the day cause otherwise Atlantis will go pink faster than you can say 'Puddle Jumper Cloak Remote' *nods*
Long and pic-heavy Version
We open to... a flying Puddle Jumper! The secret star of this episode because in the end, it's all about the flying machine...
Awwww, bless you, John. He's sick, our poor Colonel *hugles him*
John has a cold. Funny, that's the first time an Earth virus gets the better of him... It's annoying.
Rodney: "Talk about annoying." HA! You're on to talk *looks pointly* John (offscreen): "What???"
Rodney wants to focus on finding SpaceGates and not play with the locals as John wants to (billy_red_ocean: Welcome to Pegasus Quest!)
Teyla states the obvious: Rodney wants Earth. Like right now.
Of course he doesn't say so but manages to turn his sercet longing into a scientific reason. Snarky he is *nods* But he has to let slip a "And whenever I want." *headdesk* You are so predictable.
Ronon is stoopid and asks the one questiosn you should never ask if you want to see the next day: "Ok, how does it work again?"
Rodney goes all geeky and hand!porns like woah. To make it short: If we have SpaceGates, we need only 30 minutes, not three weeks.
Teyla *grins*: "Very clever."
Team Sheppard flys into the sunset... or not...
A niiiiice town with lots of people who slighlty freak me out... all this gushing and giggling and 'Ahhhhs' and 'Ohhhhhs' over our team is just weird.
Rodney wants to get as fast as possible out of heeeee-- or not.
*facepalm* Does he's now Atlantis resident Kirk? (billy_red_ocean: *winks*)
John: "Fair day to you." Can we please stop this kirking! Please?
McShep's eyes are nearly popping out as they follow the women. I mean, that clothes are really... daring...
Spanky so rollseyes in the background *loves*
Seconds ago, Rodney wanted to be as far away as possible and now he's all 'Let's stay and sex.' *headdesk*
SGA's Nightmare for this episode *bounce*
Team Sheppard: Ô_o *backs away slowly*
Lucious: "Have you met my wife?"
Other wives? WTF?
Introduction of Team Sheppard. John and Rodney (who's still kinda shocked from the wives thing)
Ronon and Teyla.
Lucious: "Teyla?" Ô_o Totally and I mean totally htting one her.
McShep is speechless and shocked and just WTF?
Teyla is seconds from killing him. Her eye is twitching... then brings up the Wraith...
Lucious is like "Hate them too, wanna get Lunch and have some fun?"
Rodney saves the day! "We don't even know your name!"
Ok, this laughing is just stoopid and creepy and have I mentioned stoopid?
John: "We're serious."
Praising Lucious *headdesk*
John: "Then we are glad we met you." Riiiiight.
Lunchtime. McShep gets dragged away by the wives while Spanky cautiously follows. Ronon is so marking his territory *nods and squeals*
And before he follows, Lucious drinks some crystal liquid... uh oh.... (billy_red_ocean: *points finger*)
(billy_red_ocean: I've to say it again still so blue - mercscilla: *giggles* *snort* - billy_red_ocean: Why not red for a chenge? - mercscilla: How about pink?.)
Viewers meet Tree. (Looks like the planet in 'Inferno'.) (billy_red_ocean: Lonely tree)
Lucious talks about architecture. Teyla is all "I seeeeee."
Lucious: "Is she taken yet?" OMGWTF?
Teyla: "NO!" and thanks, I speak for myself.
Lucious starts hitting on her again with terms like 'wife material', 'spirit' and 'body'.
Head wipping on Spanky. If looks could kill... especially Ronon's...
Rodney saves the day again but Lucious is all "I know what you want to say. I have gifts."
(billy_red_ocean: You don't want to have them)
Spanky: *biggrins* *sigh* *rolleyes*
John: "What are those gifts?" Yeah, please enlighten me.
Well, stuff like medicine and... stuff.
John's sneezing is cute *hands him tissue*
Lucious can take car of that with just a fingersnap.
John: "It's just the cold." Please stay away from me *wibbles*
Rodney is all "Ohhhh" as he hears that Lucious got a potion that could cure the cold in 6 to 7 days. We, too. And then some.
Like John. Impressive.
Lucious: "You get used to it." Or not. Jumps right to: "So, where are you from?" Slimy grin.
First thing you learn in the Pegasus Galaxy: Never tell anyone wher you're from. Never. Stay vague. Like "we're moving around alot."
Uh oh, Lucious has set his eyes on little PJ *clings to it* and that they came through SG.
John shakes head.
Ronon forget what we established above. "Yup, we did." *smacks him*
Lucious would love to have a PJ but John explains that he can't have one just because.
Lucious: "But I want one." *pouts*
Lucious: "Please?" Oh my, it got manners!
That kinda upsets Lucious and his folks cause Team Sheppard came to them and does not want to trade? Huh?
Ok, so I don't want the ship. Forget I ever mentioned it. No ship. Don't want it. I'm suure you have other stuff to trade like: "How did you get that hair?"
Outside!John: -_- | Inner!John: Ô_____________________o
Uhm, we... gotta go. Like right now. We're late. So bye.
Rodney is stoppid an nearly blows their oh so great escape plan with a "For what?"
And the standard answer that always and everywhere seems to work: "THAT important thing." In other words: You want to keep listening to him? I will buy you a noce tombstone *pats*
Teyla gets what John means as does Ronon *grins*
Lucious kinda freaks out and demands they stay. "I don't want you to leave:" *stomps foot*
Ok, ok, we're all friends here and just let them go.
John, being the nice guy, promises to send Carson to talk medicine.
Lucious: "Nice people." Right. Doesn't he freaks you out as well?
OT3 or Papa John, Mama Liz and Baby Rodney. Talking about that freaky and creepy guy.
John thinks it's worth a try. So let Carson take a look. Bad decision.
Liz asks about the gate search. Rodney is all bouncy about continuing and John just rollseyes. me, too.
Carson and Lucious. Talking about herbs and what they do and how awesome Lucious is and... I've lost count.
Lucious goes all touchy on Carson and tells him how cool it is to heal people and then have them worship you. Oh, the joy.
Carson wants to be anywhere but there. I feel with him. (billy_red_ocean: enjoy your stay)
The Lucious brings up women. "You like women, Dr Beckett?"
Carson is all "WTF? Of course I do!"
Lucious wants to trade Carson's medical kit for a potion that makes the women wanting to sex Carson like woah.
Carson is a gentleman and refuses and Lucious just biggrins and tells him to have a meal. Poor Carson.
Late Night Lantis...
Liz enters Control Room where John is coughing. Only he can make it sound and look hot. I'm sorry but I think so *nods*
(billy_red_ocean: Tight pants she's waering. Where are her BDU's?)
They found one lousy Gate. Rodney sulks. Never going to meet their quota.
John: "What quota?" Rodney: "MINE quota."
Topic jump- Beckett back yet with something useful?
Nope. Wants to stay longer there.
Story time! About a baby Lucious saved or so.
Carson is totally, and I mean totally smitten. And reduced to a squeeing and swooning whimp.
The baby grew up to a beautiful woman...
(Carson all 'Ahhhhh')
...eh, no, just grew up.
Carson is totally rapt away.
Lucious goea all touchy AGAIN (it's not the last time...) and babbles about getting to know eachother to see how cool you are.
Then he jumps to Atlantis *grrr*
Lucious: "On a scale of one to ten-" Carson: "TEN!"
Lucious: "Oh and do you have by any chance these cute little PJs?" Carson: "Several *beams*"
Lucious: "Tell me about it..." Carson: "I can do way better *giggles*" Not a good idea. Nope.
'Lantis. Queen Liz in her kingdom, hears from Servant Candian Guy that Carson is coming back.
(billy_red_ocean: There are the BDU's)
Carson totally hyper bounces while Lucious can't belive how awesome 'Lantis is.
Liz: "Carson?" (subtext: WHAT THE HELL???)
Yuck! Introduction and Lucious leers at Liz.
Liz' expression says it all.
Lucious starts totally hitting on her. It's like what? The fifth time he does that to a person?
Liz is not amused. Nope.
Observation Room. Liz scolds Carson for being so careless *tz tz tz* and bring him to them. He should know how dangerous that can be.
Carson: "He has great things to offer." Oh and that makes it alright???
John brings up again the cold-healing-in-a-week and Rodney just rollseyes.
Carson still swoons over Lucious and his medicine.
Liz: "That guy?" Who looks absolutely hilarious?
He has herbs and spices and gords!
Rodney: "Did you say gords?"
Carson: "Yes!" We could so much learn from him cause we are dumb and he's oh so wise and a powerful ally.
Liz goes all concerned about Carson and Carson is all 'huh?'
John: "It's just you're acting a little... Liz: "Smitten?" (flashbacks to Inferno again *grins* *loves her Sparky*)
Liz is still not happy about Lucious in Atlantis cause now he knows everything bit Carson gives her his word that Lucious is their friend.
Sparky has a short angsty.eye sex. So not happy.
McSheir trying out a new shot of 'Lantis' staircases. (billy_red_ocean: Hello echo)
Talking about Lucious and to keep an eye on him no matter how useful his informations are.
Puppy Carson shows Lucious to his new quarters. The lamp rocks. Want one.
And goes all *OMG thank you for finding it cool* otherwise you could have had mine personal quearter... >_<
Lucious assures Carson that he's happy but...
Carson: "What?" How can I help you? Do you neeed me? I'll do anything? *flails*
Lucious plays the '*sniff* I think your friends don't like me' card
Carson waves his concersn away and tells him, Liz will love him as will the others and they will all be one big happy family. Right. *headdesk*
In front of Lucious' quarters, we Germans keep an eye on him (Mercy and Billy: Wheee *bounce*)
Lucious tries to kill them with his hyperspeed-talking about getting food and the soldiesr not talking to him *takes deep breaths*
Spanky comes up and Teyla explains that he needs an escort. Lucious wants her to be his escort and leers. Again:
Ronon doesn't like him.
Lucious hits on Teyla with '... in the presence of beautiful women. And she's some, eh?'
Ronon agrees *iz ded* Teyla wants to let someone bring him somthing.
Lucious gets all touchy, Ronon cave-men and Teyla out of there.
Famous last words of Lucious: "How did you get your hair like that?" *giggle fits* *snort*
In Liz' office Carson tries to make Liz understand that she has to give Lucious a chance to prove himself.
(billy_red_ocean: Yellow doesn't agree with you Carson)
Liz is more concerned about Carson's obsession with said guy.
Carson is not.
Outer!Liz: "Fine." | Inner!Liz: >_< *headdesk*
Lucious trying out ways to greet Liz *cringe* Creepy... and drinks again that crytal liquid.
First of many gifts. Ok, I know this is weird and all but does anyone else gets a sex-ish vibe from that candle thing?
Liz is... speechless.
Lucious tells some cool story about tha candle thing and Liz wants to be as far from him as possible. "How nice:"
They sit down and Lucious gets all TOUCHY again! And how touchy I might add *shudders* And leers. Again.
Liz is not amused. And the poor chair is gone with the wind *pats it*
(billy_red_ocean: She only wants to be touched by John)
Liz: "You. Here. Allience. With us. Nothing else."
Liz: "So? Whatcha got? Beside candles." *squints*
McShep walking through a deserted Control Room... except for Chuck but he's anyway part of the interior, so... deserted is it.
Everyone is... partying *headdesk* with Lucious who's again storytelling with lost of innuendos.
Everyone is hyper and smitten and squee-ish and just bouncy and whateveryoucallthis...
Except John and Rodney. This is so not good. In fact, it's bad. Superbad.
Team Weir all innocent looking.
McShep totally freaked out. Reference to the 'Stepford Wives' which is funny cause I can see at least two males 'wives' *grins*
Team Weir is all ok. More than that. Lucious has so much to offer. *bounce* Totally lost their mind. Smitten doesn't even begin to describe it.
McShep goes all eyebrow of doom. They don't like it.
Ronon: "You've got a problem with that?"
Rodney: "Who? Me? Noooooo. Na. Never." *points at John* "He might." So typical Rodney *giggleheaddesks*
Ô_o I feel threatened by that looks.
John: "Teyla, he asked you to be his 7th wife!"
Teyla: "OMG, I can onyl hope he will still take me." *bites nails*
Team Weir gets touchy again and declares that Lucious is THE king of the galaxy. He has great intelligence and knowledge of the galaxy and is just wow.
John: "Did he shared it with you?"
Liz: "Eh, no but look! He gave me a candle!" *dies* Team Weir looks like Lucious told them he wants to marry them right now.
Ronon: "A very wise and kind man." And what does that have to do with the candle thing?
McShep thinks the same.
They go to Rodney's lab and try to find something. The whole thinks creeps them out. And it reminds Rodney of a Batman episode. The one where Catwomen drugged Batman and made him evil or so.
They so have a moment.
They investigated a little and found one the survilliance camera something. The little vial. Which Rodney stole from Lucious' room *loves Rodney* He's getting better at stealing.
(billy_red_ocean: Do they have these cameras everywhere? Like Lizzeh's bedroom?)
There's some liquid left and they could've used Carson's help to find out what that is buthe's off picking daffodills with Lucious *headdesk*
In the meantime... Puppy Liz and Radek tell Lucious how the whole Stargate-taking-from-planets thing work.
Suddenly Lucious points at a planet and says, that one is uninhabited.
Liz goes all bouncy and says, they can use the gate from that planet then *headdesk*
Lucious: "Beautiful and clever." Makes Liz and Radek look like they won the price of the galaxy...
And then OMG John comes up: "Dr. Weir." Note his finger tapping... he's not happy about Liz going all touchy with Lucious.
Liz: "Oh hi, John. We were just discussing the gate harvesting programm." Totally misses John's point.
John: "So I heard." Hello? You are flirting with the wrong guy!
Liz: "And Lucious knows an excellent planet." Still totally missing John's point.
John: "I heard that, too." One more minute and I will go crazy...
He got news that the Wraith have an outpost on that planet. Liz wants to know if he can verify that. Not yet. And he won't send a team down there.
Liz: "John, you're way behind Rodney's quota." And still totally missing John's point.
John: "Forget Rodney's quota! I'm not sending a team into harm's way."
Lucious goes all 'John's right and they could get rid of the Wraith easily and--
John: "Knock it off!"
And now one hot little fight break out between Sparky. The tension needs an outlet but sadly it's not sexing-against-all-surfaces *heavy sigh*
Liz: "I think it's worth investigating."
John: "No. I won't allow it."
Liz: "John, are you questioning my authority?"
John: "When it comes to the security of this city, you're damn right, I am!" and steps closer and OMG can this pairing get any hotter when fighting?
Then John takes control over all gate activity. Cause he's the other part of Team Sparky and the military leader and can do that.
Lucious blames it on the cold, Liz defends John (even under the influence of wahtever she's on John's side. Well, kinda), goeas all touchy and defends John some more. But Lucious wants her to do something about John... uh oh...
John comes into Rodney's lab and name!gasm: "Elizabeth wants to send a team to a Wraith planet."
Rodney: "Is she nuts?"
Well, everyone is if you haen't noticed and they need to find out why. Sorry, but there's not enough liquid to figure that one out and therefore John wants to go back to the planet to get more.
Rodney flails cause he will be all alone with crazy smitten people and that jsut sucks big time.
John: "Just keep away from the nuts." Right, that's so easy. And no gate playing.
At the settlement, John finds the locals all sick. They need Lucious back and John promies to bring him back if they give him some of the liquid. They have a deal.
John gets back, a little wary and finds Rodney with Lucious. He's become one of the nuts *headdesk* and again they are all touchy.
Rodney says, Lucious was concerned about him, Ronon held Rodney then against a wall and voilà, Lucious made Rodney his puppy. Woohoo.
John: "Where's Elizabeth?" I want her now.
Lucious: "She's making me something to eat." *innocent looks*
Lucious has no idea cause it's a surprise and the wait for the others to come back from the planet. John's not a happy camper cause hello? Wraith?!
Rodney assures him that the team can handle themselves casue Carson can walk on his hands Ô_o
John's expression is so hilarious. He's actually trying to not kill them all.
Fade to open gate, with Carson telling them they are coming in hot. At least the soldiers haven't forgotten how to take defense position considering they know now more about picking flowers...
Liz, John, Lucious and Rodney come down the stairs...
... while a giggling and totally hysterical Team Beckett comes flying through the gate. And I apolozize NOT for this cap *laughs herself out of her chair*
Everyone except John is all bouncy and claps hands and is squeee-crazy. John is concerend.
Ronon nudges Teyla and tells John, everything went fine and Carson goes all it's so exciting *wheee*. All the time they are smiling like mad.
John states the obvious. There are Wraith and Team Beckett just grins and says: "Yep, maaaaany!"
Liz wants John to not overreact. John tells her she's got to be kidding. Liz shrugs and says Team Beckett vonunteered and OMG they've got the herb!!! *wants to bang head everal times*
Lucious goes all 'I will make the world remember you, Carson' and Carson tackle hugs him *rollseyes*
John finally realizes that Lucious sent the three to get herbs, not to take a look at the planet. He has so enough.
But the second he tries to get to the herbs, Ronon and the soldiers point their weapons on him. An Ronon clutches his precious herbs *dies*
Liz eyes John suspiciously and wants to know what's wrong with him. They were only helping a friend. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Lucious: "I think there's something wrong with him [John]."
John wiggles his way out of the situation by blaming his cold on everything and slolwy backs away from crazy pretty people. Scary they are.
(billy_red_ocean: Groupies going crazy)
McBeck and Lucious sit in a PJ and talk about who can fly one and who not.
Rodney: "I can fly it, too!"
Carson: "I can do better cause Iwas born with the gene. But the ATA gene therapy I invented let's Rodney fly it. Just not as good *beams*"
Lucious: "Hey, no fighting, boys."
McBeck starts bickering again but Lucious is tto focused on the possibility of the gene...
John visits Carson and tells him he needs his help. (The first time I watched it, I thought he was telling Carson he's gay *giggle fit*)
Carson babbles and John stuns him. Whoops. Should've seen that coming.
Rodney notices the PJ leaving the bay, orders Chuck to close the door but it's too late.
PJ is gone.
Inside are John and Carson.
In 'Lantis Liz and Teyla flails and get touchy with Lucious and asssure him that they will find John and Carson. John even took Rodney's laptop. Lucious is not amused.
In the PJ, Carson wails and flails (even bound he can do that *nods*) and sobs and cries and behaves like a girl. He wants Lucious like right now.
But John needs his help. Oh and btw, Carson, you're in detox.
Rodney (before he joined the Lucious Fanclub) found out that in the liquid is a pheremon which makes people easy to influence. Carson explains it all. John just reads.
Carson : "It's rubbish." *pouts*
John noes and tells him that the liquid id made from herb they've colllected. And John's not infected because he's got the cold.
The easiest way to get rid of the obession would be to kidnap Lucious. But they need to find a solution for the the locals on Lucious' planet. And for their own people.
Carson wails and John smacks him. YAY!
So either Carson helps John or John is going crazy. Like me. Sucks being addicted.
Meanwhile in another PJ, Team McKay gets all waily and sobby and OMG we need to get back to Lucious *headdesk* cause he needs us oh so much.
(billy_red_ocean: They're so in withdrawel)
Nope, he doesn't. He's fine.
Campfire with Sheckett. Carson is about to say something...as Ronon's gun meets John's head. Not good.
Ronon: "Don't move." *rawr*
Team McKay stuns John and Rodney sulks cause htey have to drag him back all the way to the PJ. Really sucks.
Woah! John in a cell. Scream plot bunny to me... from every ship-angle ^-^
Lucious is soooo sorry, Liz ahd to take such drastic measures. Right.
John's not impressed.
They talk about how Lucious become oh so irresistable. Right after he backed muffins that is.
He found some herbs, backed them inot his bread and people started to like him. The Wraith overtook the planet where the heb grows and then SGA came and presente him with the perfect opportunity.
Lucious threatens John with a 'Face-to-face' talk but John threatens back with a 'It will be the last thing you do'.
Carson radios and tell Lucious, his ATA gene dose is ready. Oh noes! Baaaad!
He takes his dose and McWeir go all woozy and OMG-can-we-help-ish on him.
Rodney runs off to get blue jello while Liz is hit on again. This time with a marrige proposal... never seen Liz so girl sighing...
Control Room with Shiny Happy People who give Lucious a go to fly a PJ. Gah. Carson as co-pilot.
Suddenly Hero John snages Lucious out of the chair and chains him.
And Carson is BACK! *dies* My supercool accent without all thei wailing is BACK! *tackles Carson and drgs him off-screen to tackle him some more cause now he's BACK!*
No more bestet friends cause Carson found a way to neutralize the pheremon. HA!
John takes off and now they can have the face-to-face conversation Lucious always wanted. Worst thing that could happen: Lucious gets John's cold. What a shame he doesn't *sigh*
Team Control Room flails as the PJ doesn't fly off but in the last second it does.
Liz is all OMGosh *swoons*
Team Control Room flys to the balcony and swoons like woah *giggles*
Rodney *sniffs* : "Fly, Lucious, fly." *headdesks for the umpteenth time* Can it get any cheesier? Don't bother to answer *sigh*
John takes Lucious for a 'vacation' and then takes him back home. Afterall, John's a nice guy *biggrins*
Oh and he will give Lucious' folks the serum *biggergrin*
'Lantis Team Sheppard comes back from Lucious' planet. Liz and Carson greet them.
Looks like Lucious' people didn't kill him but he will get divored soon and often *smirk*
Spanky moment when Teyla reminds them that they still have to make sure, Lucious doesn't give away the Atlantis address.
If that happens, Ronon will track him down and hang him by his feet and cut off his-
We're getting the idea *grins*
John can't help himself and jibes them again. No longing for his touch or desire or whatever?
And THEN John tells them he will get back to clean Rodney's room. BAM!
Spanky rulz when they do this threatening with the glares.
Sure for reseach purposes only. Why do I not believe you, Rodney? (billy_red_ocean: Lol, that reminds me of the green pills)
Liz: "Burn it!"
Carson: "All of it!"
Liz: "Right now!"
Rodney sulks and looks at Teyla THAT WAY *headdesk*
Liz just rollseyes and we fade to black....
I hope you enjoyed it ^-^ I did while making the recap, even if it was like from 12am till an hour ago or so *yawns* of coures with breaks. What did you think? I'm not Rodney.
Next week... Ronon's story? I think. If TPTB doesn't overthrow everything again...
Anyone wnating tp write a ElIzabeth/John story about this ep? *hands out plot bunnies*
SGA 301 No Man's Land || SGA 302 Misbegotten